i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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