I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
