I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
