with your own penis?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
