Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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