So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My vagina is very pro this idea
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