"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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