Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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