I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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