I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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