the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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