THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
