i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
