He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
