I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
and you fell through a lawn chair
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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