the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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