I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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