My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
