I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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