dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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