Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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