We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I intend to get homeless drunk
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
do nipples grow back?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
