if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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