He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
