Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
