Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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