Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
