Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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