And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
