he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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