I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
