If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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