I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
