u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
