Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize