Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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