let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
