I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
