when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
