He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
