I will die if light touches me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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