maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
