I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
