omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
