meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
