ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

  Fav 14 941 1686

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

  Fav 46 2149 6037

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

  Fav 20 4812 1038

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

  Fav 130 8947 3502

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

  Fav 16 6752 1613

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

  Fav 6 2624 949

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

  Fav 16 2714 1170

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

  Fav 5 579 879

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits

  Fav 5 764 613

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.

  Fav 1 392 228

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.

  Fav 1 368 165

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.

  Fav 0 114 171

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION

  Fav 1 63 13

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?

  Fav 0 49 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.

  Fav 0 85 62

  share tweet
  

Randomize