gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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