Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
