Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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