No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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