Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
