Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
